Thursday, August 29, 2013

Change is Fundamental

What happens to a person when they change?

I guess that the better question is why is change fundamental?

Change is a constant that can not be worked around. Society, science and religion state that change is unavoidable, yet most strive to go with the status-quo.

I am again trying to be more authentic. In 2006, my therapist suggested that I start practicing authenticity as a way to combat the very bad habit of stringing tall tales and pathological lying.

Making that change, I found some peace. I tried to live my life to the fullest and enjoy who I chose to become. To be authentic and truthful scared a lot of the people around me. To have someone as young as I was look at the seediest aspects of reality and willingly traverse those dark alleys seeking not enlightenment or riches but a better life for those brought there by desperation was a terrifying concept to my elders.

Is omitting information a lie or a kindness? As a citizen of The United States of America I have the right to not self incriminate. The right to omit information and be silent.
However in the omission do I continue to be authentic or am I lying not only to others but myself? In the last few years, out of fear, I slipped and started lying again. I started blaming everyone in my life but myself for my problems.

I find that the life that I have lived up till now has been rife with controversial thoughts and actions. In refusing to acknowledge these points in my life, I have dulled as a person. This change in me seems required by society because I have transitioned from woman-child to mother. Does the state of motherhood completely negate who I am, or just enhance it from a new perspective?

In seven years my life has changed immensely. I would not trade a single moment for a different experience, the daily changes have made me stronger.

I am learning not to fear society. I am changing from who I was to who I will be.

I am learning not to fear the boogie man. I am powerful in my authenticity.

I will make changes in my life to suit myself and my family. I will change every moment from who I was before. I will be Authentically me.

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