Saturday, August 31, 2013

The Tattoo - a poem

Eight feathers fall from the catcher of dreams
   four braids of gold and silver wrap the hoop,
   sweat, blood and tears adorn the sinew.

Each feather holds an amulet of existence,
   each plait a marriage to show the bounds of life,
   sweat, blood, memories and tears.

Never to be caught within the band
   the banshees screams were called too soon,
   two feathers drip with fallen tears.

The sticky web within the halo binds
   tight the nightmares of lives cut too short
   while hopes and dreams alight of lives well lived.

A charm of hope that dreams may live,
   while nightmares stay at bay,
   my siblings are a blessed lot,
   they know not what I say.

In hope their dreams may be realized
   a talisman I wear.

Forever immortalized on living skin
   a spiders web of dreams I bear.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Change is Fundamental

What happens to a person when they change?

I guess that the better question is why is change fundamental?

Change is a constant that can not be worked around. Society, science and religion state that change is unavoidable, yet most strive to go with the status-quo.

I am again trying to be more authentic. In 2006, my therapist suggested that I start practicing authenticity as a way to combat the very bad habit of stringing tall tales and pathological lying.

Making that change, I found some peace. I tried to live my life to the fullest and enjoy who I chose to become. To be authentic and truthful scared a lot of the people around me. To have someone as young as I was look at the seediest aspects of reality and willingly traverse those dark alleys seeking not enlightenment or riches but a better life for those brought there by desperation was a terrifying concept to my elders.

Is omitting information a lie or a kindness? As a citizen of The United States of America I have the right to not self incriminate. The right to omit information and be silent.
However in the omission do I continue to be authentic or am I lying not only to others but myself? In the last few years, out of fear, I slipped and started lying again. I started blaming everyone in my life but myself for my problems.

I find that the life that I have lived up till now has been rife with controversial thoughts and actions. In refusing to acknowledge these points in my life, I have dulled as a person. This change in me seems required by society because I have transitioned from woman-child to mother. Does the state of motherhood completely negate who I am, or just enhance it from a new perspective?

In seven years my life has changed immensely. I would not trade a single moment for a different experience, the daily changes have made me stronger.

I am learning not to fear society. I am changing from who I was to who I will be.

I am learning not to fear the boogie man. I am powerful in my authenticity.

I will make changes in my life to suit myself and my family. I will change every moment from who I was before. I will be Authentically me.

The Definition of Authentic

adjective: authentic; adjective: auth.
  1. 1.
    of undisputed origin; genuine.
    "the letter is now accepted as an authentic document"
    synonyms:genuinerealbona fidetrueveritableMore
    • made or done in the traditional or original way, or in a way that faithfully resembles an original.
      "the restaurant serves authentic Italian meals"
    • based on facts; accurate or reliable.
      "an authentic depiction of the situation"
    • (in existentialist philosophy) relating to or denoting an emotionally appropriate, significant, purposive, and responsible mode of human life.

Why good dental care is important...

When you don't brush your teeth you get cavities.
When you get cavities you are in pain.
The longer you have a cavity the worse it gets, the worse the pain gets.
As a cavity gets worse it gets infected and can abscess.
When a filling pops out, it can abscess.
If a root canal is done improperly, it can abscess
When a tooth abscesses the tooth can break making it hard to eat.
When a tooth abscesses but does not break it causes an infection that will drive you crazy.

People die of these infections.
People die from dental problems.
8000 people die in the USA alone from dental issues.

Go Brush Your Teeth..

Muscle Memory

A singular note makes my spine twitch,
sitting on my hands,
begging the muscles to hold still.

With each bar my nerves ignite,
my breath quickens,
my fingers cramp.

Each cord drags my body into the spasm,
movement bursting forth,
unbidden and uncontrolled.

The music bewitches my memory,
each unconscious motion grabbing any passerby,
captivated by the entrancing dance.